Houston Realtor Gives Tour Of The Filthiest Listing You’ve Ever Seen

Houston Realtor Gives Tour Of The Filthiest Listing You’ve Ever Seen

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    lighterside-staff-authorBy Lighter Side Staff  |  Read More

    There’s a fine line between fixer-uppers, and homes that simply need to be burned to the ground and wiped from human history. This one’s so bad, though, we’re pretty sure fire would call in sick if it had to burn this house down.

    However, Houston Realtor Paul Gomberg, the home’s brave listing agent, didn’t bat an eye when asked to list it. In an interview, he told us he’s more accustomed to selling homes in better condition, but why not accept the challenge of selling this short sale!?

    If not him, whom?
    And if not now, when?

    And as you’ll see in the video below, he played the only card he really had from a marketing standpoint — humor! Well played, Paul.

    Via Backofmyhand

    Oh, by the way. As irony would have it, his slogan is…

    “KEEP CALM
    Buy, List & Sell
    with Paul Gomberg”

    Ummm we dig the slogan, but that “keeping calm” part is much easier said than done when viewing this home.

    From the outside, this home looks relatively stately.

    Via har.com

    It’s sturdy, large, built for privacy, the list goes on.

    Via har.com

    In fact, before being sold to the last owner, the interior looked a little something like this.

    Via har.com

    This place must’ve been one of the nicest homes on the block.

    Via har.com

    So inviting! Who wouldn’t want to curl up in this room?

    Via har.com

    We’re guessing the mess probably started like this. No big deal, right? I’m sure the first thought was, “I can take care of it later.”

    Via har.com

    The next thought was likely, “Man, I really need to get this handled soon. I’ll take care of it this weekend.”

    Via har.com

    … Or not.

    Via har.com

    I’m not one to judge, but this is getting out of hand.

    Via har.com

    I’m not sure a bathroom can even function like this! Ironically, the bathtub is clean. I guess it’s pointless to use it when stepping out gets you just as filthy as you were stepping in.

    Via har.com

    But wait, there’s more! Turns out the owners also had 12 dogs, 6 cats, and a potbelly pig. Paul explained to us his clients kept all the pets here as they renovated their other home.

    Via har.com

    RELATED: The Home That Wouldn’t Sell: Proof Positive You Should Declutter Before Selling


    This was apparently the “play room.” If you think this is bad, imagine if the owner actually pet the animals. Worse yet, what if the owner let them sleep in the same bed?

    Via har.com

    Is there a floor under that giant stain?

    Via har.com

    Even the stairs? Is nothing sacred? If Paul ends up selling this place, his title of “Rock Star” will be well earned, indeed!

    Via har.com

    On the upside, the cleanup has begun.

    Via har.com
    Via har.com

    Oh my gosh! Miracles ARE possible!

    Via har.com
    Via har.com

    Good to know the floor wasn’t held together by biological waste. I’m guessing they’re waiting for hazmat suits before moving that mattress.

    Via har.com

    Whoever is cleaning up this place deserves a bonus, and a medal…

    Via har.com

    And perhaps some post-op therapy.

    Via har.com

    Introducing the swimming pool! This was probably the cleanest part of the entire home.

    Via har.com