Real estate agents come in all shapes and sizes. Tall agents, small agents, medium sized… you get the point. While there are agents that come from all over the spectrum, some patterns do tend to emerge if you pay close attention. If you’re an agent yourself, or have worked in an office at any point then you’ll easily recognize some of these. In fact, you may actually be one of them yourself. So read all the way through and then see which one you are:

1. The Rookie

Every agent was once a rookie, but not every rookie stays long enough to make real estate a career. Some dip their toes in and think it’s what they want to do until they’re crying in the bathroom at the end of their second month. Others stay, grind it out, and build a book of business and a career. Every office has seen its share of rookies come and go.

2. The Big Shot

There’s one (or more) of these in every geographical area. Their faces are on every sign and billboard, they are dining with clients at every restaurant, and they trade in their BMW 7-Series every year when the new model comes out. Their personality can be a bit prickly, but they will tell you that to whom much is given, much is expected.

3. The Classic

This is type of agent is your quintessential, tried-and-true real estate professional. She (or he) knew exactly that they would go into the business from the time they were kids, and they love every single minute of it. If there’s such a thing as destiny, then these were the ones chosen to become real estate agents. There’s nothing else that the classic could have possibly ended up doing.

4. The Stress Case

From a client perspective, this is the worst type of agent to end up with because the second something goes slightly off plan, they panic and make everyone else panic along with them. A short appraisal leads to heart palpitations, and a short sale leads to shortness of breath. This type of agent is the reason why Xanax was invented.

5. The Back-up Planner

This agent secretly (or not so secretly) resents the fact that they work in real estate because it was never part of their plan. They were originally going to be a movie director in Hollywood and even went to film school to the tune of $100k. But when they tried breaking in, they realized just how difficult it would actually be to find success and “settled” for real estate.

6. The Vacationer

This type of agent claims they’re listing homes, but they’re actually down in Boca 48 weeks out of the year. Their Facebook page is an endless stream of boating, fine dining, and exotic architecture in the far reaches of the planet. This agent must really be passionate about real estate because they’re busy researching every single bit of it across the globe.

7. The Happy Camper

While this type of agent is usually nice to be around, sometimes their endless and irrational optimism can get a bit annoying. They see the upside of everything. Even if the lending falls through the day before the closing, they will say something like “It just wasn’t meant to be,” or “Onto a better and bigger deal,” with a huge smile on their face. Oh, who am I kidding, I’m just jealous these types!

8. The Ghost

This type of agent is literally impossible to reach, even if you just show up at their house. They will stop into the office once a month or less, but once they leave, good luck finding them again. Call them and it goes to voicemail. E-mail them and you won’t get a response. Follow them out of the office and they’ll lose you on the highway. Where do they go?!

9. The Know-It-All

Probably the worst out of all to work with, this agent always butts into other people’s business with their own unimpeachable view of the industry, and in their mind, you’re always doing something wrong if you’re not doing it their way. They’ll tell you the correct listing price, the best neighborhood, the best day for an open house, in the most passive-aggressive way possible. Ugh.

10. The Survivor

This type of agent is probably the most fascinating because despite literally never closing a deal as far as you know, they have been employed, and continue to be employed by different companies. No one can tell if they’re doing it for fun or if they are just waiting for that one deal to open the floodgates, but they show up at the office on a regular basis, make calls with nothing to show for it.

So there you have it — the 10 types of agents you’ll find in every real estate office. Did I leave any out? Be sure to comment and let me know if I did!

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Let’s face it, loan officers have gotten a pretty bad rep ever since the mortgage crisis and subsequent recession almost brought down the global economy. Much of it is well-deserved, as the mortgage industry attracted some unscrupulous fly-by-nighters that came in to make a small fortune and get out just as quickly. But most of those people are now long gone, and thanks to them there are a bunch of rules and regulations that don’t always make much sense.

I was an LO for years, so I know the ups and downs, and I also know how tough it is for agents who don’t always see the lending side of things as making sense, because very often it doesn’t! So without further adieu, here are 5 things your loan officer wants to say to your face, but can’t (or won’t):

1. “I’m a bit jealous of you”

Nearly every loan officer I have ever worked with, including myself, has at one time or another considered the prospect of becoming a real estate agent themselves. Some actually pull the trigger, but most stay where they are or move onto another form of sales. The reason why it seems so appealing is that most LO’s are sitting behind a desk all day pushing papers around and getting yelled at by sales managers (ok, maybe it’s a little more than that). But we think of real estate agents as out on the open road, looking at cool houses and meeting with clients for coffee and lunch, and sometimes we feel that little ping of jealousy and think to ourselves, “Man. That could be me.”

2. “It’s not my friggin’ fault your client bought that car before closing”

Every loan officer worth his or her weight in discount points will always tell a client not to take out any new debt during the lending process as it could put the whole mortgage loan in jeopardy. The last company I worked for actually sent out a document along with the opening package literally spelling this out in big, bold lettering. Unfortunately, customers sometimes either don’t listen, or don’t understand this simple concept. So if your client rolls up to the inspection in a brand new Audi, it’s probably not the loan officer’s fault.

3. “You are critical to my success”

Unless an LO is lucky (or unlucky depending on how you look at it) enough to be working for an inbound call center, or a company that provides high quality mortgage leads, their relationships with real estate agents are critical to their success. An LO who has developed strong partnerships with local agents can count on some level of steady business, and not have an anxiety attack every time they come into the office and see that they’ll be calling LowerMyBills.com leads all afternoon. While most loan officers are too afraid to admit it, real estate agents are incredibly important to them.

4. “I don’t have control over much”

Arguably, the only thing a loan officer actually has control over is their own understanding of mortgage programs, their work ethic, and some wiggle room when it comes to mortgage rates and pricing, although that’s usually dictated by their bank/employer. Everything else is set by Fannie and Freddie guidelines, bank overlays, and government regulations. A loan officer is only in control so far as they properly interpret guidelines before promising a customer that they can get things done, and since there is sooooo much that can go wrong during a mortgage transaction these days, many LO’s simply can’t anticipate what absurd kinds of things underwriting will take issue with (think divorce decrees or condo docs).

5. “I’m not a scumbag”

This one comes with a caveat; there ARE still scumbags who are in the mortgage industry, as there are with many other industries. But, the new NMLS licensing requirements, strict background checks, more complicated rules for lending, and the fact that the mortgage business is not a “make a quick-buck” industry anymore has really weeded out many of the bad apples. Most loan officers are simply regular folks trying to make a living and support their families. They are also people who deal with a very stressful job that still comes with a lot stigma attached to it — stigma that probably isn’t going away anytime soon. So the next time you hear from your loan officer, let them know that you understand some of what they’re going through!

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