7 Creative Ways to Avoid Talking to Your Neighbors Every Time They See You Outside

A survey done by a fence company revealed that 60% of people said they’d prefer to have neighbors and install a privacy fence, rather than buy a property without any nearby neighbors. That said, 65% of those polled said that they hide from their neighbors in order to avoid interacting with them.

Here are the top 5 tactics respondents said they use in order to avoid dealing with a neighbor:

• 37% pretend that they don’t see them.
• 34% stay inside when they see a neighbor is outside.
• 26% act like they’re not home.
• 21% wear headphones when they’re outside.
• 21% act like they’re on the phone.

While those may be effective ways of avoiding a neighbor, they lack a certain amount of flair. If you want to avoid your neighbors, you might as well do it with some style!

Here are 7 creative ways to avoid having to talk to your neighbors every time they see you outside:

1) Dress up Like a Door-To-Door Salesperson

Even the chattiest neighbor draws the line at chatting with a door-to-door salesperson! Grab yourself a clipboard, a handful of pamphlets that came in the male, and throw on a name tag every time you head out the door. The minute they see you they’ll not only head inside, they’ll probably text all of the other neighbors and tell them to turn off the lights and pretend they’re not home.

2) Always Have a Leaf Blower Handy

It’s difficult to try and talk over the noise of a landscaper’s leaf blower even if it’s in the yard next door, but it’s almost impossible if they’re standing right next to you. Buy a leaf blower and leave it by the door so you can grab it every time you need to go outside when a neighbor is lurking.

Pro tip: To make it easier to start up on a moment’s notice, get yourself an electric one that you don’t need to prime and pull a ripcord 17 times before it starts. It may not be as loud, but it’ll be annoying enough that a neighbor won’t even try to engage you in conversation.

3) Ask Them to Borrow Money Every Time They See You

This tactic might seem to backfire at first if you have a truly great neighbor… The odds are they will lend you a few bucks the first few times you ask. At first you might feel guilty not paying them back, but don’t! Just keep asking them to borrow some money every single time they see you. Eventually they’ll give up on ever getting paid back, and they’ll avoid you like the plague.

4) Live Like a Vampire

If you only come out at night, there’s a lot less chance you’ll run into a neighbor. This will entail making some major life changes, like getting a night shift job. But you don’t have to actually get into the whole drinking blood thing… that’s taking it way too far.

5) Dig Tunnels You Can Disappear Into

Digging tunnels with covered holes placed strategically around your yard will take some time and effort. But imagine the time and effort being able to duck into one of these holes will save you when you’re not stuck in a 23 minute conversation every time you walk out your door!

6) Act Like You’re Encountering a Bear in the Woods

If you run into a bear, The National Park Service recommends that you do not run away. Instead, they suggest you stand up tall, wave your arms, and yell things like:

• “GO BEAR!!!”
• “GET OUT OF HERE BEAR!!”
• “Or even just: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH BEAR!!!!!!!!!”

When encountering a neighbor outside, try doing the same things, and just replace the word “bear” with “neighbor” when you yell at them.

7) Go on the Offensive

Judging by the percentage of people in the survey who said they try to avoid their neighbors, the odds are that your neighbor is just as afraid of having to deal with you as you are of them! Even the ones who enjoy talking with neighbors will think twice about coming outside when they see you, if they think you’re the type to tie them up in endless conversation.

So nip it in the bud by being super aggressive about starting convos with your neighbors as early on as possible, and you may never see them outside again the entire time you live near them.