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6 Tongue-in-Cheek Reasons It Might Make More Sense to Move Out of Area than to Stay and Deal with the Issue
Life is filled with aggravating and embarrassing moments that’ll make you cringe or grit your teeth just thinking about them as you lay awake at night even years later.
Facing these down in your own mind is hard enough, which is why perhaps the best way to dodge some problems in life is to get out of Dodge, so you can put as much distance between you and the situation as possible!
Here are 6 tongue-in-cheek reasons it might make more sense to move out of area than to stay and deal with the issue:
1) Because it’s the only way to cancel your gym membership…
They make the procedure and window of time you need to cancel a gym membership so specific that it can be almost impossible to get out of your contract. But one loophole they usually have in the agreement is that you can cancel if you move far enough away, and there aren’t any of their brand’s facilities nearby! So pack your bags (even the gym bag you probably never use) and find a place to live based upon where they don’t have a gym in the radius they require.
2) Because you flipped off your kid’s principal…
There’s nothing worse than laying on your horn and flipping someone off, only to end up having to pull up next to them at the next traffic light. Oh wait… there is. You look over and it’s your kid’s principal, or someone else you know and have to see on a regular basis. As soon as the light turns green, head home, pack your bags, and drive until you find another city to start your life anew. Try not to beep or flip anyone off as you roll into town.
3) Because your class reunion is coming up…
High school reunions are probably one of the top reasons people go on diets and hit the gym. People want to look their best, or at least better and younger than their old classmates. But if you’ve been living a less than exciting life in the same town since high school, it can be even more stressful thinking about seeing seemingly successful classmates coming back to town who will be silently (or not so silently) judging your life. So find the coolest, most exotic, or exciting place you can move to the minute you hear that a reunion is scheduled. That way, you can swoop into town as well, and tell everyone about your whirlwind move to a new locale. Or just don’t come home at all, and avoid having to face any of them at the reunion, or even bump into them at the local bar while they’re in town.
4)Because you gave your neighbor a peep show…
Whether it was a quick trip to the mailbox in your robe on a windy day, or walking in front of the window half naked while the blinds were up, having a neighbor see more of you than they should is so embarrassing! The minute it happens, just shut the blinds, and/or your robe, and pack your belongings. Hopefully, with enough time and distance, they’ll forget you even exist, let alone what you look like under your clothes.
5)Because you accidentally swiped the wrong way on Tinder…
Meeting strangers through online dating is both exciting and scary. But even meeting a potential serial killer is less scary than swiping the wrong way on someone you know, and have zero interest in matching with! Even if you let them down gently, they still feel like there was a chance, and it’s gonna be awkward every time you see them. Immediately erase your profile, and then pack your stuff and find an area beyond what they would possibly allow the app to show matches for, and then create a new profile.
6)Because your hair stylist or barber gave you a bad cut…
It’s so awkward when you get a bad haircut from your stylist! The easiest thing to do is say you like it, and then just hope it grows out as quickly as possible. But what about when it’s time for your next cut?! Do you go back and hope it doesn’t happen again, or find someone new? There are certainly plenty of barbers and hairstylists in most areas you could live, but it’s hard to switch to another one when you’ve been going to the same one for a long time. They’re eventually gonna realize you haven’t been in for a while, and will certainly notice that your hair has been cut since the last time they saw you. Which is why it’s probably easier to just pack your belongings (including your shampoo and brushes) and find yourself a new place to call home and comb.
