Ever watch episodes of “Home Improvement?” Weren’t you glad there was no way you’d run into a builder that prone to making a mess of things? Well, you can suck that sigh of relief right back in…
1. When they‘re efficient to a fault
It’s not always best to bring all the groceries inside with one trip.
2. When “safety first” is an afterthought
“Don’t worry. It’s just a short trip down the interstate.”
3. Or when “safety last” is their motto
Maybe a trampoline would’ve been better.
4. When they can’t handy-man their way out of a wet paper bag
Dude, it’s a tape measure, not a cobra!
— Shit UHS Kids Say (@ShitUHSKidsSay) October 3, 2015
5. When they arrive at the jobsite with an empty truck bed
“I swear, it was there before I left!”
6. If you see gravity outsmarting them.
Whatever you do, don’t let him push a stroller!
7. When their work vehicle looks like this
Can you imagine what your house would look like?
8. If they drink on the job
Unless he was sober, installing that fire pole you wanted
9. If they’re not bonded and insured
Unless builder insurance covers “acts of stupidity”
10. If you see them eyeballing everything instead of using a tape measure…
Careful. The first step out is a doozy.
11. …especially when it concerns drainage
Please tell me this guy didn’t install the toilet, too.
12. When they take security a little too far…
“That’s right! No thieves gonna be pickin’ this lock!”
13. …or when they don’t take privacy far enough…
Ever been so drunk you had double vision? Problem solved!
14. …or when they’re gender confused
Enter at your own risk.
Modesty? What modesty?