8 Funny (But Kinda Legit!) Reasons to Buy a House Instead of Having a Wedding

A recent realtor.com article reported that couples are swapping wedding bells for doorbells, choosing to buy a house instead of splurging on a big wedding.

Spending tens of thousands of dollars on something that only lasts for a couple of hours, versus spending it on something that will help you build a strong financial future together is certainly a practical decision! But it’s also a difficult decision to forgo such a big life event so many people look forward to.

So if you’re struggling with whether to spend your money on a wedding or a house, here are 8 funny (but also totally valid) reasons why skipping the wedding and putting a down payment on your dream home might be the best decision you ever make:

1) You’ll Avoid the Guest List Drama!

Weddings come with endless debates about who’s going to be invited. Your mom’s distant cousin Phyllis? Your work BFF? Your partner’s childhood best friend? No matter how many people you invite, there’s always going to be someone who’s upset that they weren’t invited, while someone else was.

While there will certainly be people who expect to be invited to the house you buy, it won’t be anywhere near as dicey as coming up with the wedding guest list!

2) You Won’t Have to Remind People to RSVP

Nothing’s worse than waiting for RSVPs that never come—except for the passive-aggressive follow-ups you have to make with people you barely wanted to invite anyway. Seriously Phyllis?! We didn’t want to even invite you in the first place!

3) No Fighting About the Bachelor or Bachelorette Party

No “What happens in Vegas…” stories to haunt you forever. You don’t need to worry if your better half really spent the night playing poker or…something else.

The only stripping you’ll need to worry about if you buy a house instead, involves the 1980’s wallpaper throughout the house.

4) No Stress Over Seating Charts

You’ll need to spend hours upon hours deciding who sits where on the big day, trying to make sure that your mom’s crazy cousin Phyllis (who finally RSVP’d) doesn’t get seated anywhere near your better half’s uncle who somehow met her on an online dating site and ghosted her two years ago. Small world, huh?

Anyhow, the only seating chart you’ll need to labor over if you buy a home is where the best spot for the sofa is in your new living room!

5) You Don’t Have to Worry About an Awkward Toast

There’s always that one guest who stands up and makes an awkward speech that goes too far or reveals too much. Umm, what happened to the unspoken “What happens in Vegas” pact, Tony?

In your house, the only awkward toast you’ll need to worry about is the one you spread too much peanut butter on.

6) No Band vs. DJ Debates

Hiring a band? They might play Free Bird for 10 minutes. A DJ? They could drop a wedding playlist banger like The Chicken Dance.

At home, you control the playlist—no worries about them going rogue and playing music you don’t like. DJ your own move-in day with a playlist and some portable speakers instead!

7) No Drunk Uncle on the Dance Floor

Sure, you could pay for an open bar and a DJ, but do you really want to see Uncle Gary’s “interpretive dance” to Livin’ on a Prayer?

In your own house, you can dance like no one’s watching—because they won’t be. And you don’t have to try and unsee your middle aged aunts and uncles writhing to their 80’s anthems they convinced the DJ to play.

8) No Bruised Egos (Or Cheekbones)

The classic bouquet toss often looks more like a pack of NFL players trying to recover a fumbled football. Do you really need to watch your friends tackle each other for some flowers?

Buy a house instead so your friends don’t have to put their life at risk in hopes that it means they’ll be the next one in your friend group to have to debate whether they have a wedding…

… or spend all that money on a better long-term investment: a home.