Why Real Estate Agents Should Always Brand In Stilettos
Crazy title for an article, right? I know. Stick with me, though. I promise this isn’t some sort of “clickbait.” There’s a powerful message if
No one really likes moving, do they?
First, you have to buy roughly 83,586 boxes. Then, you’ve got to pack up literally everything you own. Then you have to load it on a truck securely. Next, you drive to your destination and pray the whole way that nothing gets broken in the process.
Finally, you repeat the whole process in reverse. It’s never simple, though – you know you’ll be spending weeks wondering where in the world your can opener went.
Some moving stories are worse than average, though.
Hopefully, your moving experiences won’t top any of these!
My first semester of college, December 2002. I was an art student. I had no finals because all the art pieces were due the week before.
My dad was recovering from his “more than a massive heart attack” heart attack, so I left a week before the rest of my pampered roommates.
I noticed a big pile of boxes by the door. Thought to myself, “They’re not mine. Those slobs can do it themselves.”
Fast forward 5 weeks. — I decided to come back to college a week early. I get off the elevator and notice a nasty smell in the air. It gets stronger as I get closer to the apartment door.
When I open the door to the apartment, I almost vomited.
My disgusting roommates left that big pile of boxes there. It had Chinese food in one box.
Molded. Rancid. Chinese food.
I spent that “relaxing alone time” week trying to get rid of the smell. When I confronted them about it, they said, “We thought the cleaning staff would get rid of the boxes.” (PS – The cleaning staff they were referring to are my personal care assistants who are NOT cleaning staff.)
My husband and I have moved 14 times in 18 years, and we haven’t hired movers once. I’m convinced that after moving countless couches and dressers without murdering each other, our marriage can withstand anything.
One time, though, we were trying to move an oversized sofa into the house. We swore at each other in the dead of winter for well over a half hour trying to get it through the front door before our new neighbor came over, laughing, and asked if we needed help. He said he had a great time watching us and was impressed with our perseverance.
Nothing like a great first impression!
One time, our movers cancelled due to a blizzard so my husband decided it would be a good idea to borrow the real estate agent’s box truck and do it ourselves. Unfortunately, we lived in the mountains on an incline so steep we couldn’t get the box truck down the driveway.
We had to move the items to my husband’s truck and drive them up the driveway, then move them to the box truck. It took hours – and may I remind you we were in the middle of a blizzard?!
We even lost our couch when it fell off the back of the truck and rolled down the driveway off of the side “cliff”. I cried the entire time.
During another move, my husband had to saw our old couch in half and throw it off the balcony because it wouldn’t fit down the stairs.
I guess you could say we don’t have the best luck with couches…
My husband and I were moving from our respective apartments to our first apartment together. Because of the timing, we had to move on the day his family was in town.
We didn’t start the move until close to 6 pm. We had to make 3 stops for pickup before we could go to our apartment and drop off our stuff.
First stop was his apartment. Relatively easy and still pretty early.
Second stop was my dad’s house. We got there around 10 pm.
Final stop was my apartment in a terrible neighborhood. We arrived at 1 am to police tape across the street.
There had been a double homicide and they were still looking for the guy who did it. We had no choice but to move our stuff from the apartment to the moving van in the middle of the night with a literal killer on the loose.
I was so used to the neighborhood that I was just thrilled that the police would be there to “watch our stuff” and I wouldn’t have to worry about anything being stolen.
We finished around 3:30 am. Got donuts in the middle of the night and then drove all the way across town to our new place.
We moved all our things in until 7 am and then raced to return the Uhaul by 8 am (so we wouldn’t get an extra fee).
We crashed on a bare mattress on the living room floor. It was one of the longest nights of my life. And one hell of a way to find out if you’re compatible with your chosen partner. Luckily we worked well together, but damn, it sucked.
When we moved from one state to another, we stayed with my parents and had to put our furniture in storage while we waited for our new house to be ready.
My husband had to be at his new job bright and early (and it was three hours away, by the way), but I have three brothers and Jack, my strapping Marine brother-in-law, so I said we would make it just fine without him.
I didn’t think I could drive the 26’ moving truck myself, but Jack said he could do it – no problem – so I handed him the keys. We drove the three miles to the storage unit without incident, and then… it happened.
He had to make a hard left turn to get in the storage facility gate and because of the height of the truck, he didn’t see the 4’ metal and concrete pole sticking out of the ground. From the cab, we heard a THUNK!, then a screeching sound, and then another THUNK!
From that point on, we couldn’t move forward or backward – the truck was stuck on top of the pole. To make matters worse, we were blocking the only gate to the facility.
The attendant came over and looked at our predicament. He went and got his forklift and tried to lift up the back of the truck so we could move forward, but the truck was too heavy.
We were out of ideas at this point, so we did what any sane person would do in the situation. We called Jack’s dad.
Jack’s dad, their family friend Eric, and Eric’s son came over and we all decided it would be easier to deal with the truck if it was empty.
With all nine of us working, we unloaded the truck in record time. The attendant brought the forklift out again, and thankfully, this time, it worked.
Jack pulled forward far enough to get unstuck from the pole, then I drove the truck back to the rental facility.
Ever since then, whenever we go somewhere with Jack, he apologizes and asks if I’m sure I want him to drive.
See? Those make your moving story look like a walk in the park, right?
If you’ve got a move in your future, be on the lookout for killers, rotten food, and rolling couches.
Once you’re safe and sound in your lovely new home, you can thank your lucky stars that your move wasn’t as bad as these ones. Oh, and even better news? At least you won’t have to move again any time soon!
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