8 Fun Ways for FSBOs to Handle Calls from Agents (Without Being Rude)

If you’re selling your home “for sale by owner” (FSBO), get ready for your phone to ring… a lot. But don’t expect buyers on the other end…

Nope, most of the calls you’ll get will be from real estate agents hoping to list your home or work with you if they have a buyer. It’s practically a FSBO rite of passage.

Some sellers lose their patience and snap at agents, but that won’t stop the calls, and it might burn a bridge you’ll need later. That agent could end up bringing you the perfect buyer or even be the one to sell your house if you change your mind about going solo.

Instead of getting defensive or frustrated with all the agent calls, try flipping the script. Make them think they’re chatting with a fellow real estate pro, and suddenly, they may be too busy bonding to pitch you. Who knows? You might even have a little fun with it. And at the very least, you’ll turn an awkward sales call into an entertaining conversation.

Here are eight topics you can bring up that’ll at least give them a laugh and make it easier for you to say “thanks, but no thanks,’ until you’re ready to work with them:

1) “Phew! I thought you were another agent trying to recruit me to their company!”

Agents are constantly dodging recruitment calls. Play into that, and instead of pitching you, they’ll end up commiserating about how they can’t even check their voicemail without another ‘exciting opportunity’ waiting for them.

2) “Ugh, don’t even get me started on part-time agents.”

Nothing bonds full-time agents faster than complaining about those ‘hobbyist’ agents who do one deal a year but still post on Instagram like they’re a top producer.

3) “If I have to hear one more buyer tell me, ‘But Zillow says…’ I’m going to lose it.”

Every agent has spent way too much time explaining to buyers (and sellers!) why the Zestimate is about as reliable as a weather forecast from a groundhog.

4) “Oh, thank goodness you’re not a lead-gen telemarketer…”

Agents live in fear of missing a client call, which means they almost always answer a call, even though there’s a good chance that it’s a robocall promising ‘exclusive leads in your area!’ They’ll feel this one.

5) “You should totally stop by my open house and keep me company. You know nobody ever shows up until five minutes before it ends!”

Every agent knows the pain of a painfully slow open house… until that last-minute rush of buyers just as they’re about to pack up. This one will get a knowing laugh.

6) “If I hear another agent say, ‘In my 23 years in real estate, I have NEVER…’”

Every agent has had another agent use this line on them to try and establish dominance, regardless of how many years they’ve been in the business. This one will get you a belly laugh on the other end of the line… unless you happen to drop this gem on one of those agents who likes to tout the number of years they have under their belt. If that happens, brace yourself. You’re about to hear how they’ve never, in all their years in the business…

7) “If one more relative asks me, ‘How’s the market?’ or if I’m still doing real estate, just shoot me.”

Friends and family are probably just trying to make conversation, but agents dread these questions at family gatherings. Either they have to give an off-the-cuff market update to Uncle Know-it-all, or they have to explain that yes, they’re still in real estate, and no, they don’t need a backup plan to their passive-aggressive cousin who assumes real estate is just a phase they’re going through.

8) “Man, I’d love to take a vacation, but we both know that’s not happening. Heck, I can barely take a day off.”

Agents know the struggle—every time they try to take a vacation, a deal magically falls apart, a client suddenly wants to see houses, or their phone won’t stop buzzing. They’ll feel this one in their soul.