6 Things Most Real Estate Agents Think About Certain Clients But Would Never Tell Them

Listen… I’m about the most honest guy you’ll ever meet. Seriously. I tell my wife how she really looks, not just what I’m “supposed” to say. Who does that?

Even with my clients, I’m not one of those Realtors who puts a positive spin on any and all objections that my clients might raise. If that meat packing plant behind the backyard is going to hurt you on resale, heck, I’m the agent who will tell you!

But there are things even I won’t tell my clients. Must be serious right? Enjoy.

1. Atrocious Personal Tastes

Taste is subjective. I get that. But some things are just bad. I once had a client who told me they prefer carpet in the bathroom because it’s not as cold on her feet when she steps out of the shower. Honestly? C’mon clients, mix in a little HGTV every once in a while.

2. Ever So Slightly Unrealistic Expectations

This certainly depends on the agent (and the size of the purchase) but all of us agents have had that one client who thought every… single… home… was overpriced. Yeah, it’s a worldwide conspiracy and you’re the one homebuyer getting taken advantage of.

3. Could Your Kids BE Any More Unruly?

Listen, I get that kids can be disruptive from time to time. But when it’s the first time I meet my brand new clients, only to see them open the minivan door and 5 caffeine-hyped hellions pour out into the home, while the parents look at me like, “Yeah, whaddaya gonna do?”…

…then I might just need to find a new line of work.

4. Lying Liarheads

A famous man once said, “There are lies, damned lies and statistics.” Then there are certain real estate clients who think that just because you work for them, they can tell you anything they like and get away with it. It doesn’t work like that!

A past client of mine, God bless him, stated repeatedly that he wanted to buy a mid-century modern home in this hip neighborhood. 37 home showings later, he chose to purchase that fixer on the other side of town because he “found out” that people who flip houses make bank. Shoot straight with me because I’m shooting straight with you!

5. Ghost Clients

Agents who’ve been in the business for more than a couple years have all encountered the mysterious ghost client. These people will only communicate via email, never by phone. Their email address is something like [email protected] and it seems like every response is a mishmash of adverbs, nouns and an occasional numeral.

Odds are this person is a either an Internet troll who has fun wasting other people’s time or a poor online pharmaceutical salesman from Quebec trying to find a lead. Get a life!

6. The “It’s All Your Fault” Guy

One of the most irrational and infuriating client-types has to be the “It’s All Your Fault” guy. Everything you’ve done was to help this person find the home of their dreams. Then, when the appraisal comes back low… “Why did you let this happen?”

Say what?

When the seller says they’re not leaving the washer and dryer, this guy thinks you didn’t work your magic and blames you. (By the way, what is this so-called “magic” and where can I buy some?)

In every occupation that deals with people we have our share of flaky characters. But maybe, just maybe, real estate brings out the grade-A oddballs. Wait? I can’t say that? Ok, fine. After all, discretion is the better part of valor.