If Seinfeld Were a Show About Real Estate, Instead of “A Show About Nothing”

Seinfeld was pitched as a “show about nothing”— a show about the mundane day-to-day stuff a comedian and his cast of friends experienced. Who’d be interested in that!? The world, apparently. It’s been off the air for years, but people are still watching it to this day.

People love a peek into the lives of others and finding the things they can relate to that they never even knew they could relate to!

So let’s give you a peek into the lives of agents by flipping the script on 12 scenes from Seinfeld and make them about real estate instead!

1) When mom hears you’re becoming an agent…

When your mom (or anyone else who loves and supports you) hears you’re getting into the business, it’s pretty common for them to feel like you’ll do great simply because people like you! It certainly helps, but new agents (and their moms) quickly find out that it takes more than that to survive in this business.

2) When you hear someone breathe a word about real estate…

Whether you’re at a party, in line for coffee, or perhaps even rummaging around the luggage in the cargo hold at the airport, even the faintest whisper about real estate will get an agent’s attention! Mention you’re thinking about buying or selling, and an agent is likely to slide into the room Kramer-style and say, “Did someone just say real estate?!”

3) When friends or family use another agent…

Every agent knows the pain of having a friend or family member buy or sell a house with another agent. But a lot of times all they can do is put on a happy face and keep it bottled up inside. But Festivus could easily be a holiday where agents gather everyone in their life who worked with another agent and let them know just how they feel!

4) When someone in your friend circle gets their license…

Agents need to work hard and develop other sources of business, but getting business and referrals through friends and family can make or break them. So when an agent hears that someone else in their family or circle of friends is getting a real estate license, it can feel like worlds are colliding! There’s already a ton of agents to compete with, so having to compete with someone you (and your entire family) know can be super frustrating and make them feel like George did when Elaine started hanging out with his girlfriend.

5) When you’re sending out mailers…

It’d be great if every agent could get an assistant or pay a company to help them with their marketing, but most agents (especially in the early years) can’t always afford to pay for help. Or for premium envelopes! So, until an agent can afford to hire someone and pay for better envelopes, they’ve gotta lick a lot of envelopes to get the word out about their services…even if it feels like it’s gonna be the death of them.

6) When someone brings up the #1 agent…

At some point in their career, every agent has someone bring up that they got a postcard from an agent claiming to be the #1 agent in the neighborhood. Invariably they’ll ask, “Do you know them?” It’s not like people are taking a jab at you when they do, but it can feel like one! So agents can get a little defensive about it and point out that if you read the fine print, that agent has a disclaimer saying that they were #1 for the month of May…in their office (which only has three active agents)…way back in 2019. So, yeah, technically they might be “#1” by some definition, but it doesn’t always mean much.

7) When people think agents make too much money…

People tend to think agents make tons of money. The truth is, very few agents make “tons” of money. An average agent can make a decent living, but it’s nowhere near as lucrative as people imagine, and plenty of agents make less than minimum wage when you count up the hours they worked for the income they received. But no matter where an agent is on the spectrum, very few want to talk about how much they actually made in a year, but they all want to at least appear like they’re doing just fine!

8) When they get a “lowball” offer on their listing…

There’s a saying in real estate that a low offer is better than no offer, but that doesn’t mean a listing agent is happy when they get a “lowball” offer! But if the offer’s in writing, no matter how outrageous, egregious, or preposterous it is, they still need to present it to their client.

9) When negotiations get heated…

For the most part agents keep their cool when dealing with other agents, but once in a while you come across an agent who just pushes your buttons. When that happens, watch out for even the calmest agent to fly off the handle and put the other agent in their place.

10) When you deal with an agent who doesn’t do their job…

There’s a lot more to do behind the scenes once a house is under contract. Some of it’s the responsibility of the buyer’s agent, and some is supposed to be done by the listing agent. But what happens when one of them decides not to do what they’re supposed to? Well, unfortunately, it usually falls in the lap of the more responsible agent who picks up the slack to make sure the deal gets done for all parties involved…including the agent who decided to do nothing.

11) When someone brings up their Zestimate…

Homeowners often bring up how a website said the value of their home was higher than what the agent is recommending to list it at. Unfortunately, while they’re not “lies” per se, the values are often inaccurate, giving sellers an inflated perception of their home’s value. There are disclaimers about their level of accuracy so they can’t be accused of misleading people, but it’s still easy for people to overlook the fine print and believe them nonetheless.

12) When your client closes on their home…

Agents spend a lot of time with clients and can end up getting really close with them. While it’s not goodbye forever, it’s bittersweet to not see and speak with people you’ve spent time with on a daily basis for what could be months or years helping them achieve their goals.

That wraps up our look at real estate through the lens of Seinfeld! Good luck not thinking about your real estate agent the next time you’re watching a rerun, or looking at your next appointment with him or her as a possible episode for a TV show!