“Oh No, Is My Headshot That Bad?” (A Real Estate Agent’s Emotional Journey)

Real estate agents are no strangers to compliments that come with a little extra baggage they need to unpack. Here’s a classic example: “Wow, you look so different from your headshot!”

It can go from a casual remark someone makes to a full existential crisis in a matter of seconds. On the surface the agent may look like it’s all business as usual, carrying on a conversation about the house they’re showing, or going over their listing presentation. But deep down they’re grappling with a psychological journey that closely resembles the five stages of grief.

How long does this process take? Sometimes mere minutes. Other times, the emotional damage lingers until you’re staring at a picture of your competition on a bus stop ad, wondering where it all went wrong.

Here’s how it unfolds:

1) Denial – “No, no… I’m sure they meant it nicely.”

Technically speaking, “different” isn’t necessarily a bad thing! They could mean you look way better than your headshot. Of course, they could have meant the exact opposite. But, for now, in stage one, it’s better to ignore the potentially negative connotation.

2) Anger – “Wait… just how bad is my headshot?!”

Unfortunately, stage one can only last for so long. Eventually you find yourself replaying the words in your mind, but now they sound different. You start to panic and wonder if your headshot is actively driving away business. You start to imagine people saying things like, “They really have a face for radio, they should’ve become a deejay instead of an agent.” Despite the fact that nobody has ever actually thought that, let alone said that, you get angry at how people can be so mean.

3) Bargaining – “Maybe I can tweak it just enough to fool everyone.”

This is where the mental gymnastics begin. You’re not quite ready to admit defeat, so you start exploring “fixes.” A new filter. A strategic crop. Maybe you casually update your LinkedIn photo, hoping no one notices that your business cards and online profiles now feature two entirely different versions of you. What if I just… slowly phase in new pictures like a rebrand?

4) Depression – “My headshot is a lie, and everyone knows it.”

Reality sets in. Your headshot is practically a historical artifact at this point. Your face is out there, frozen in time, living on signage, brochures, and that one local magazine ad you can’t take back. You start reminiscing about the day you took it—back when you had hope, a fresh haircut, and a dream. Now, all that remains is this outdated version of yourself, printed on thousands of postcards, forever reminding you of your poor choices in lighting and angles.

5) Acceptance – “That’s it. I’m getting a new headshot… and therapy.”

After scrolling through your website with fresh eyes (and fresh horror), you reach the inevitable conclusion: It’s time for a professional intervention. You book a session with a photographer, practice your “friendly but professional” expression in the mirror, and vow to never let your headshot age more than three years again. And most importantly, you seek therapy to prepare yourself for the next time someone inevitably says: “Oh wow, you look so different from your headshot!”