8 Incredibly Desperate, But Creative, Real Estate Listing Descriptions

lighterside-staff-authorBy Lighter Side Staff  |  S.D. Shank  |  Read More

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It’s a hard-knock life in the home selling biz. Sometimes real estate agents have to work with the worst properties and they still have to make them seem like gold. Imagine if the QVC channel sold homes. Here are photos of 8 desperate properties with what I imagine the listing descriptions would be like.

1. This lovely ghost-free home is just what your family ordered!

If you’re looking for a quaint place to raise your kids with “no monster under the bed” guarantee, then look no further than this lovely two-story property. This un-haunted home is ready to be loved for the right buyer. Call us today and set up an appointment to see this not-haunted home that is not haunted.

2. Does the hustle and bustle of city life have you down?

Looking to get away from the rat race? Is a nice peaceful rest on your mind? Well then this is the property for you! EXTRA quiet neighborhood with low traffic. Don’t pass up the opportunity to permanently retire here.

(yes those are graves)

3. TLC Required!

Looking for an investment opportunity? Do you crave a home that just needs a little lovin’? If you don’t mind working with fire damage, ominous spray-painted warnings, or never knowing when your foot will punch through the floor, this could be your old-new home!

Via wtfrealestate.com

4. Celebrity Alert! The Doggfather himself is putting this prime piece of real estate up for sale! So many people will want this home you’ll want to act fast, because when the smoke clears, it’ll be gone!

Via worstroom.com

5. This little jewel is in near-perfect condition. Don’t let the picture fool you. This is the only room that needs a little elbow grease. And only $60k in repair work.

6. Do you crave excitement? Do you like having an instant topic of conversation at dinner parties? Look no further!

This beauty comes with intrigue and mystery in the form of bloody footprints. Who knows how they got there? Who cares! It’s an interesting trivia factoid for your guests! This home in Creepymurderwood Estates is priced to sell!

7. Tired after a long day of work? Finished your dinner and too tired to make it to your bedroom? This home is perfect because it has a hide-away bed right off the kitchen! Ladder not included.

8. In-progress is the best! This home is the way to go for those who don’t want to start a project, but want to finish one!

This beautiful two-story offering just hit the market and it is priced to sell. Make an appointment today! Agent Remarks: The rumors about a ‘ghost door’ haunting the second floor are completely untrue.