1. “Honey, can’t you imagine us sitting out here in the morning sipping our coffee and reading the newspaper?”
Said by: Couples who haven’t even purchased a newspaper since 2003.
2. “I don’t want a split level because I don’t want to have to decide whether to go up or down when I get home.”
Said by: People who will likely have difficulty pulling the trigger on any home.
3. “Eww, look at that toilet seat cover. I think I’m gonna have to pass on this one.”
Said by: People who lack the cognitive ability to figure out this “problem” is fixable by plunking down a whopping $7 at Wally World.
4. “This furniture is really outdated.”
Said by: People who apparently don’t realize the owners will be taking that with them when they leave.
OblioZen via flickr
5. “It absolutely has to be turn-key.”
Said by: Couples who lack all sense of reality.
6. “Having to do laundry in the basement is just too creepy for me.”
Said by: People who probably check underneath their bed every night for the boogey man.
7. “My commute really needs to be under 15 minutes, tops.”
Said by: People who work downtown but are in denial about not having a downtown budget.
Gohsuke Takama via flickr
8. “I need old world charm with new age modern conveniences.”
Said by: People who don’t realize that early 20th century homes didn’t have walk-in closets. Or whirlpool tubs.
9. “Oh, these countertops aren’t granite.”
Said by: People who are probably obsessed with stainless steel appliances.
Jason Carlin via flickr
10. “I was really hoping for a glass-tiled shower with a separate soaking tub.”
Said by: People who take like one bath a year.
11. “We can’t buy a home with a pink room. Our child is a boy.”
Said by: Couples who have literally never even seen a paint brush up close.
Ivan Berkovica via wikimedia commons
12. “We’d really like an open concept floor plan.”
Said by: People who parrot other people who try to sound cool by spouting off trendy buzzwords.
Kathleen Seide via flickr
13. “That spot over there is a real turn off.”
Said by: People who will probably ask for a $5,000 carpet allowance.
Renato Ganoza via flickr
14. “We really need an oceanfront house with a prime view.”
Said by: Deluded beach bums with a $200,000 budget.
15. “The stove needs to be gas, not electric.”
Said by: People who most likely can barely boil water.
Bluekdesign via flickr
16. “We have to be in the nicest part of the city. A helipad would be a huge plus. We need 7 bedrooms, an IMAX theater, a fully staffed Starbucks and probably a moat.”
Said by: Deluded 26-year-olds graduating from their parents’ basement who want a P. Diddy home on a Vanilla Ice budget.
Joel via flickr