
Why Witty Agents Get More Business
FACT: Your ability to attract clients has less to do with your “credentials”… and everything to do with how people feel about you. As a
Real estate listings take a lot of heat for using certain “code words.” Words like cozy, charming, and potential are no longer seen as simple descriptors; they’re seen as warnings. As if every agent is slyly slipping in a translation: Cozy = cramped, Charming = slanted floors, Potential = run.
Yes, some words are tired. Some are clearly doing damage control. Some are working a little too hard to distract you from the fact that the washer is in the kitchen and the bathroom window opens into the garage.
And yet…at least these words say something. They’re concise. They paint a picture—however cliché it may be. And let’s be honest, they’re a step up from calling it “a structure with four walls, a roof, and a mailing address.”
But if we must retire the classics, let’s have some fun with the replacements. Below is a list of overused listing words and the creatively questionable—but surprisingly functional—alternatives we could use instead. Bonus: we’ve included example sentences so you can see how they might look (and sound) in a real-life description.
Alternates: Thermally efficient, nap-compatible, spatially intimate, warmly compact
“Spatially intimate home just right for introverts and minimalists who enjoy knowing exactly where they left their cell phone at all times.”
Alternates: Time-travel adjacent, grandma-chic, historically seasoned, Norman Rockwell-ready
“Historically seasoned cottage with artisanal squeaky floors and a delightful resistance to symmetry.”
Alternates: Equity incubator, DIY-friendly, future-famous, imagination-ready
“If you’re to grow your net worth in a short period of time, this equity incubator is the perfect investment for you!”
Alternates: Asymmetrically delightful, personality-packed, vibes-based architecture
“Asymmetrically delightful 3-bed with interesting ceiling angles and personality bursting from every nook and cranny.”
Alternates: Semi-opulent, tastefully overimproved, not-too-shabby-chic
“This tastefully overimproved home has a semi-opulent primary suite you’ll just adore.”
Alternates: Recently not outdated, HGTV-influenced, post-laminate renaissance, 21st-century compliant
“Both the post-laminate renaissance kitchen—with stone countertops—and the bathroom (blissfully free of powder blue or salmon pink tile) are fully 21st-century compliant.”
Alternates: Uniquely interpretive, one-of-a-kind-ish, artisanally unexpected
“Uniquely interpretive design choices throughout—including an artisanally unexpected backsplash shaped like a flamingo.”
Alternates: Architecturally nostalgic, rule-following floor plan, respectfully retro
“Architecturally nostalgic colonial with a staircase that says ‘let’s respect the rules.’”
Alternates: Tranquility zone, professionally Zenscaped, Om away from home
“Backyard Om away from home with enough greenery, shade, and silence to trick your nervous system into thinking you’re on a meditation retreat—until the Amazon driver shows up.”
Alternates: Gently hidden, nature-embraced, affectionately tucked
“Sprawling ranch home gently hidden within your own private forest.”
Alternates: Hipster hopeful, pre-vibrant, pre-pricey
“Hipster hopeful neighborhood with a strong flannel-to-farmers-market ratio and a coffee shop just trendy enough to charge $7 for oat milk slated to open soon.”
Alternates: Budget-considerate, financially appealing, monthly-payment-friendly
“Budget-considerate 2-bed with just enough square footage for your furniture and your financial sanity.”
Alternates: Pre-loved, lovingly preserved, avocado-accented
“Avocado-accented kitchen with heritage appliances and strong Brady Bunch energy.”
Alternates: Curb appeal with posture, great-great-grandparent-approved, dignified AF
“Dignified AF home with a front porch that demands a rocking chair and a glass of sweet tea.”
Alternates: Surprisingly generous, Costco-trip-compatible, bulk-friendly
“Bulk-friendly storage throughout—finally, a place where your 36-roll paper towel stash and emotional baggage can coexist in harmony.”
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